


Accident

by Mina_Kye



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, M/M, Requested Story, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mina_Kye/pseuds/Mina_Kye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji suddenly gets angry at Hisagi for doing the unthinkable and accidentally kills his best friend. His heart is torn for what he has done and Byakuya is the only one who can help him set him straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_**Clouds…Storm grey fills the sky in the night…The moon and stars are hidden because of them…** _

" _Ren…ji…" Hisagi's eyes showed pain and sadness._

_**Lightening…It lights the sky..showing the men's faces in the darkness.** _

_The redhead's red-brown eyes widened. "Oh..." He looked down to where Zabimaru was pushed through his friend's abdomen. "Oh shit..." He whispered, looking up at his friends face. "Shuu!" He couldn't believe what he had just done. "Shuuhei! S-stay with me!" His breath hitched when a hand came to rest on his cheek._

_**Rain…It begins to fall slowly looking like tear drops when it hits the men's faces.** _

" _I-I'm sorry…" The brunette whispered and pulled out the sword from his gut._

_**Thunder…Loud screams from the sky sounding angry for what it has just seen.** _

_Renji's eyes widened even more. He let his blade slip out of his hands and pushed his hands into the wound on his friend's stomach. "You have nothin' to be sorry for." He told him, while putting as much pressure on the wound as he could._

_**Tears…they fall from their eyes from the pain…physically…emotionally…** _

_Hisagi nodded. "Yes…I-I do…" He said and put his hands on top of the redhead's to hold them. "I went there w-without telling you…I sold myself to_ him _for you, even when you told me not to."_

_**Blood…it seeps from in between their fingers…unable to stop.** _

" _So?" Renji cried. "THIS is not the answer!" He put more pressure onto the wound; he didn't mean to do what he did. He'd never forgive himself if the other died._

_**Breath…Shallow, can't get enough air…** _

" _Y-you had every right to be pissed. It's okay…" Hisagi trailed off as he coughed. He could feel his heart slowly coming to a stop. "T-tell…Kira, I-I love him…please…"_

_**Heartbeat…It slows…not enough oxygen or blood…** _

" _You can tell him yourself." Renji said. "I'm not going to let you die!" Determination was evident in his eyes. His hands had a bright green glow trying to heal the damage he had caused._

_Hisagi shook his head. "Stop...it's too late..I'm dying. You can't save me now."He breathed._

" _No!" The redhead said forcefully, pouring all his power into saving the man in front of him; the man that he had stabbed out of anger._

" _S-stop it!" the brunette yelled and pushed the other's hands away. "I told y-you!" He yelled then coughed up blood. "D-don't waste your energy…" His hand reached up and caressed the redhead's cheek. "It's fine…" He said, slowly closing his eyes. His breathing slowed until it stopped completely. His hand fell to the mud, splashing it upward where bits of dirt were smudged onto Renji's face._

" _Shuu?" He called to the man. "Shuu!" He yelled and shook the man._

_**Death…No breath…No Heartbeat…No pumping blood…** _

_Renji cried out and held the dead man that was his best friend. Hisagi's motionless body lay limp in the redhead's tattooed arms. "I'm sorry…" He whispered. He pulled the man into his arms fully as he stood. He took him to the fourth where his body was examined and then dissolved into spirit particles._

* * *

**Knock…Knock…**

A loud knocking sound was heard on Byakuya's door of his private quarters at the barracks. The nobles brow furrowed as he sensed his fukutaichou's reiatsu. He stood, walking to the door and gracefully pulling it open to reveal a tired, blood-shot eyes of the redhead as he looked up. "Abarai?" He said in a semi-concerned tone.

"T-taichou…" Renji said shakily. "Can…can I…" He sighed. "Can I talk to you about somethin'?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Knock…Knock…** _

_A loud knocking sound was heard on Byakuya's door of his private quarters at the barracks. The noble's brow furrowed as he sensed his fukutaichou's reiatsu. He stood, walking to the door and gracefully pulling it open to reveal tired, blood-shot eyes of the redhead as he looked up. "Abarai?" He said in a semi-concerned tone._

_"T-taichou…" Renji said shakily. "Can…can I…" He sighed. "Can I talk to you about somethin'?"_

Byakuya's eyes flashed with concern before returning to their original emotionless state. "Of course,"

Renji sighed again and smiled sadly out of gratitude to the one he looked up to. "Arigatou,"

Nodding as he opened the door fully to let the other into the room, Byakuya gestured to the table in the corner with two seats. "Sit, I shall prepare tea and then we may talk." He closed the door while letting his grey eyes follow the crimson haired fukutaichou walking to the small table then sitting down. The noble frowned when Renji buried his face in his hands and sighed. He wondered what the redhead was thinking or what had happened to make it seem as if Renji was going to break down. From the look in Renji's red-brown eyes, he looked tired and very deeply troubled. Sadness was also evident on the man's handsome features.

Byakuya walked to where he had a pot of water on a hot plate that he used instead of going to the kitchen when he was amidst of his work. He prepared the tea and poured two cups then carefully walked over to the table and sat the cups down. "Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?" He asked once he was seated and took a sip of his tea.

Renji kept his face buried in hands for a moment longer before sighing once more and letting his arms cross on the table. He couldn't look directly at his taichou, so he settled for looking deep into his teacup while answering. "I…" He began and his hands grasped the sleeves of his shihakusho, threatening to tear it from his arms. He didn't know how to tell the noble of what he had done. It was hard to even think about, let alone grasp that he had actually done it. "I-I…" He tried again but he was seriously shaken of what had happened that night. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to do this? Why did he  _do_  this? "I-I killed Shuuhei…" He finally said quietly, sadness and heartbreak clearly etched upon his face.

Byakuya's grey eyes grew wide, unsure if he actually heard correctly. "You…what?" He asked almost breathlessly with shock. His fukutaichou—Renji, killed another lieutenant-his best friend? That couldn't be right. Hisagi was one of Renji's closest friends next to Rukia.

Renji's eyes snapped tightly shut. "I killed Shuuhei…" He repeated in a whisper. Tears stung behind his eyelids as his mind replayed the scene. "I didn't mean to…but I did…"

The noble stared at him in disbelief. How…why? Byakuya wanted to know. He wanted to help…somehow. He wasn't exactly sure why he wanted to help the redhead but he did. Also killing a fellow officer was a serious offense. He knew exactly what would happen if Soutaichou knew. "Why?"

Renji's eyes shot open and he glared at his taichou. "It doesn't matter  _why_! I killed him! It doesn't matter that he sold himself to someone he shouldn't have and I was furious! I  _ **killed**_  him! I  _ **killed**_  one of my  _friends_!" The redhead yelled, flushed, and panting after his sudden outburst. He was standing his palms flat on the table, his tea spilled over and now a small puddle on the floor.

Byakuya just stared wordlessly at the redhead, his cool grey eyes not blinking from the sight of the distressed man before him. He placed a slender hand on Renji's shoulder. "Calm yourself and explain." He admonished quietly, his taichou attitude coming into play as he spoke.

Renji nodded and sat back down and breathed deeply, unsure of where to start. He ran his large tanned hands over his face, contemplating where he should start his story. "I guess it started when I first came here with Rukia…we lost our friends, so we decided to become Shinigami for them..." He started to explain while looking out the window where the rain pounded on it. The sky seemed furious still, lightning and thunder filled the sky, seeming as it was releasing all of its pent up emotion. His gaze turned to the noble where he was cleaning the spilled tea and then getting the redhead a new cup. "Sorry, taichou." He mumbled quietly.

"It is alright. You needed to get your emotions out." Byakuya replied while setting the new cup of tea down. He understood, he would have done most likely the same if he wasn't such a stickler for reining in his emotions so tightly within his grasp. In his youth he was always showing his emotions no matter what his family tried to do to keep it from coming out. It was when he finally became the clan leader he wasn't keen on showing emotions anymore.

Renji took a sip of his tea unsure if his taichou really said such a thing. He always said that one shouldn't show their emotions; that their hearts shouldn't control everything. "But…"

The noble sat down in his seat with a raised brow. " _But_  what?" He asked before sipping his tea. "Do you think just because I told you not to show emotion or allow them to cloud your judgment on the  **battlefield**  that you should not show them when you actually  _need_  to?"

"S-sir?" the redhead asked, perplexed.

Byakuya sighed, "Renji," He said whilst looking down to his tea. His loyal subordinate could be so thick headed sometimes. "When I said that you shouldn't show emotion, I meant on the field. Your emotions can be the one thing that can give the enemy your strategy away."

Inked brows furrowed. "But with all due respect sir, you don't show emotion  _at all_ ; so why..?" He asked, forgetting for a moment what he was explaining.

"That is a bit different, I am a noble. Nobles are frowned upon who show such emotion. Therefore, now you know why I do not, and you shall not tell anyone."

Renji's eyes went slightly wide. "U-uh, right…" He responded, nodding. He was a little confused as to why the raven haired man was telling him this, but at least he had a bit more understanding. But one thing was for sure; Renji didn't want to have to get cut up by Senbonzakura if he didn't have to.

The noble nodded. "Now, you were saying how you were studying to become Shinigami..?"

The redhead's eyes went from perplexed to depressed again; he didn't exactly want to talk about it now. "R-right…" He looked out the window again. "We were coming to the Seireitei…but you know the entrance fee to Shino Academy?"

"Yes, I am sure it was not easy for you to get in because of it." Byakuya acknowledged, taking a sip of his tea.

"Yeah, well we had to have the money given to us to get in." Renji replied softly, his eyes reflecting distance as he thought back. "In Inuzuri there was a club owner… He gave us the money in exchange that we would help him from time to time with greeting and relaxation…"

"You mean a brothel." The noble corrected.

Renji nodded and turned to look at Byakuya. "But a few weeks ago he broke that deal when he wanted Rukia and me to go back full time. He told us that the money wasn't  _given_  and we owed him still."

"Is that why Rukia has been uncomfortable for the past few weeks?" The noble asked. Rukia was more jittery at home and restless at work. He heard from her attendant and Ukitake-taichou that she seemed to be in a daze and always had a troubled look in her eye.

"Mhmm," The redhead answered quietly. "She's been going to the living world more often because of it too. She knew what he would do to her and she was worried you would look down on her so she never said anything."

"I see," He said and looked into his teacup. He felt a bit guilty for making his sister come to such assumption. "How does Hisagi-fukutaichou fit into this?"

Renji's frown deepened and he too turned his face down to look into his tea. "H-he found out and said he would fix it. I told him to forget about it though. The owner is trouble and Shuu didn't need to get involved… But he didn't listen and went there anyway. He made a deal with the owner that if he resigned that he would go and work there in our place…"

Looking up from his tea, Byakuya glanced at Renji's sorrowful expression. He really was hurting over this. His eyes held tears that wanted to spill onto his tanned cheeks and his hands tightened around his cup, threatening to break it. "Does Soutaichou know?"

Renji nodded again, still looking down to his cup. "Yeah, he's looking into it…to really see if it was an accident." He said shakily.

"You say that as though it wasn't." The noble commented softly.


	3. Chapter Three

Renji walked slowly to his personal quarters in the barracks, not too far down the hall from his taichou's. His hands were in his pockets and his head hung low so his eyes looked at the cold wooden flooring beneath his feet, leaning against the door. He felt somehow a bit hollow with knowing what he had done.

But knowing it wasn't intentional and that he killed one of his best friends didn't make him stop from feeling guilty. He sighed softly as he stepped into his room. He shut the door softly behind him and leaned against the wood.

To say he felt shitty was an understatement as his mind ran through the night's events and his conversation with his superior. His eyes closed as he breathed deeply. His mind just couldn't stop circling around the conversation he had with Byakuya then.

_Renji's eyes narrowed as he looked up to the dark-haired male. "What do you mean?"_

" _I mean, the way you said it…you said it as if you actually meant to kill Hisagi Fukutaichou."_

" _I didn't though!" Renji exclaimed._

" _Perhaps not consciously, no…but you did kill him."_

" _Are you saying you don't believe me, Taichou?" He asked; looking genuinely hurt at what the other was getting at._

" _No, I do believe you but, Renji, you must understand that others may not. Think about his loved ones. What do you think they will think?"_

_Renji looked down to his tea knowing Byakuya was right. He didn't know about many of Shuuhei's other family or friends outside of the Seireitei. But he had known that Shuuhei and Kira were in a relationship, which had started fairly recently. A deeper frown came to the redhead's face as he thought of how the blond would take it._

" _I don't want to think about it…" Renji confessed softly._

_Byakuya stood from his seat. "No, I thought you, perhaps, would not like to think about such a thing. But you will have to deal with it eventually, you know. You cannot avoid it forever."_

" _Hai, sir." The redhead answered quietly._

" _But for now, go to bed." Byakuya told him gently. "You will need your rest, even if it is very little."_

_Renji's eyes closed against the words as he stood. He didn't actually want to go to bed. He was afraid that if he closed his eyes he would see the night's previous events all over again…that he would see Shuuhei's too pale face in the darkness, the wound he had caused that had allowed his friend to die._

Renji shook the unwanted thoughts from his mind, not wanting to remember anything more for the time being. He looked from his bed to the bathroom door, biting his lips gently, considering.

He finally opted to shower instead of going straight to bed and sleeping. He wasn't sure he could even get to sleep really. All he knew he need to get some sort of rest, if not, it would not go well with paperwork tomorrow from being assigned to permanent desk duty until further notice. But before he decided to sleep he was going to shower to try to clear his head.

The redhead stepped over to his dresser and pulled out a clean yukata then proceeded to the bathroom. His hand slipped in the shower to turn on the water and setting it to his desired temperature, and then took off his uniform. He looked down at the fabric, noting there was blood on it still. Tears formed in his eyes again as he threw the offending garment in the trash bin. He had others, he didn't need that one reminding him of his crime. Tears leaked onto his face as he stepped into the shower under the warm spray.

How could he have killed Shuuhei? He didn't remember how he became so angry or even pulling out his blade. He knew why but the how was foggy. He knew he shouldn't have been that angry – that on normal circumstances he wouldn't have been that angry. So how did he become so angry and kill his friend?

Renji raised his face towards the water, washing away the tears he didn't deserve to shed. No, he wouldn't analyze it. It was his fault Shuuhei was dead and that Kira would have to mourn the loss of his lover now.

"Fuck..!" Renji's fist hit the shower wall with a loud bang. "Shit…shit…shit!" He sobbed. He stood under the warm water for what it felt like hours, crying. It was pathetic how much he sobbed under the water until he felt drained of all his energy. He washed up quickly and switched off the shower. He didn't deserve to cry like a child. It was his fault, he knew it, and he hated it. Every minute that passed that he cried reminded him that he hated himself more than ever now.

He dried off slowly while sitting on the edge of the tub before pulling on his yukata.

No one would look at him the same now.


End file.
